You feel everything. You always have.
From the itchy tag on the back of your shirt to the emotional state of the stranger sitting next to you on the train. Taking it all in like a giant porous sponge.
You notice the tiny cracks in the paint that resemble the shape of an alien's head. Nobody else seems to notice the sound of the refrigerator's hum, or the ticking of your friends watch. Your left palm is often itchy and there is a mild achy pain in your upper left abdomen. When you walk by the smelly sewer spots in the city, it hits you harder than most. The almonds that were stored in the cooler with cheese now have a slightly cheesy taste that nobody else seems to notice.
It’s not easy feeling it all. In fact it can be incredibly isolating. You may have been told that you were “too much” more than a few times in your life. Feeling like nobody can hold you is scary. It can get exhausting to live life with the belief that you have to hold it all. Processing the emotions of every person in the room and filtering them through your fragile system is rough. It especially hurts when you feel other people's negative emotions towards you.
I have spent countless nights wondering why I was different. Wishing I could just be like one of the "cool girls" who could sit bare-legged in the grass and not be bothered by the pokey blades. Praying that I could somehow shut down the part of my brain that was constantly analyzing what everyone was thinking.
Being sensitive can be challenging on so many levels… but what we often forget, is that it is also a gift.
Because we feel so much, so deeply we are able to experience life in all its vibrancy. We get to appreciate the full range of complexity that this world has to offer. From being the first to notice the subtle smell of the night blooming Jasmine that grows in summer to detecting the boysenberry undertones in your glass of Pinot Noir, we are able to detect life’s delicate nuances that may have otherwise been overlooked.
We have the capacity to experience deep empathy and compassion for those in pain and allow others to feel seen and heard in their suffering. Because we feel so much ourselves, we are able to feel for others, and are able to offer them the most beautiful gift of all... our loving presence.